Collision Course by S.C. Stephens

Author:S.C. Stephens
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: coming of age, drama, angst, (¯`'•.¸//(*_*)\\¸.•'´¯), tragedy
Publisher: S.C. Stephens
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 14 – A Moment of Happiness

I awoke the next morning with a feeling in my chest that bordered on genuine happiness. I stared at my ceiling and absorbed every detail of the dream I’d just had: the way Lillian’s hair caught the sparkling light of the disco ball, the way the silky dress she wore clung to her body when we danced, the way her lips repeated over and over that she loved me too.

We’d finally said it. We’d finally moved past that last barrier between us and exposed our hearts to each other. It was no great surprise, but we hadn’t been able to make that leap in real life. Being able to do it at all, even in a fantasy world, gave me a nearly euphoric feeling.

I stretched out my muscles while a long grin spread on my face. The dream had lasted much longer than most dreams I’d had of late. It was like neither one of us had wanted to let go of that peaceful moment. We’d recreated the last dance we’d been to when she’d been alive, minus the swarm of people. It had just been Lillian and me on the dance floor, and every song had been a slow one. Her arms had wrapped around my neck and mine had cinched tight around her waist. I’d told her nonstop that I loved her, that I needed her, and she’d run her fingers through the back of my hair and kissed me repeatedly.

I closed my eyes, remembering the feel of those lips on mine. I didn’t care what Mrs. Ryans said—it was real. As real as lying awake in my bed, as real as plodding through school, and as real as hanging out with Sawyer.

I opened my eyes and sighed. Sawyer. While our relationship had coalesced back to normalcy by the end of the day yesterday, I couldn’t help but think that we were on the edge of something. That, if I let that happen again, I’d push her to the point where there was no saving our friendship. She’d been unbelievably patient with me up until this point, but I could see the strain of my mixed signals getting to her.

I couldn’t imagine being in her position; liking someone who seemingly flirted and acted like they liked you back, only to have them push you away from any real intimacy. But, we couldn’t be like that…even if I did share her feelings, which I wasn’t sure if I did or not. I mean, how could I be head over heels in love with Lillian and have my heart ache for Sawyer? I couldn’t. I didn’t. What I felt for Sawyer was immense comfort and limitless friendship—my body wanted to translate that into a physical relationship because I was a seventeen-year-old virgin. That made more sense.

I got out of bed and ran a hand down my face. I wouldn’t take it there again though. I’d be the friend Sawyer deserved and keep my physical distance.

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